Luke Enthoven
Period 1
4/23/15
Tompkins
Two Wrongs
A high pitched scream resonated through the small urban house. With only two bedrooms, side by side, you could practically drop a pin and the person in the next room would hear it through the thin drywall. Kevin opened his tired eyes and groaned.
“Not again”. His daughter had been having nightmares every night for the past week. He looked over at his clock on the bedside table, it read 1:17. He had been getting used to being forced up early in the morning, but this one was the earliest by far. He threw off his thick coating of blankets, and the cold engulfed him. When he went to look for a shirt he heard another scream that sent him sprinting down the hall.
“Help”. Quickly opening the next door down, he saw his daughter’s face streaked with tears and the most terrified look on her face. To the left of her was another man. He was tall and dressed in black with matte black hair to match. His arm was outstretched and in it was held a gun. The terror that filled Kevin caused him to freeze. He worked as a police officer, and dealt with situations like this every day, but none had involved someone so close to him. There was nothing he could do. The person most important to him in the whole world was in peril, but he was frozen where he stood. Powerless, he watched as the man in black fired his gun and took from him the light of his life, his daughter. The killer turned to look Kevin right in the eyes as if nothing had happened. He had green eyes, like a snake. Kevin lost it, and lunged forward at the man tackling him to the ground. The gun fell from his hand and clattered under the bed. Despite having the advantage, Kevin was overpowered by the much larger man who managed to push him off and get back to his feet. Kevin reached for the gun and grabbed it, but when he aimed it up, the man was gone. Kevin stood up and screamed with rage. He fired the rest of the clip into the wall then threw the gun. After the initial rage he broke down and fell to his knees. Nothing mattered anymore.
Weeks later, Kevin was driving his patrol car through town. Next to him, his partner Benny was discussing his discontent at the latest sporting event.
“They bribed the officials,” he said defensively, “no one makes calls that bad. I mean, look how many penalties they called on us”. He looked to Kevin for some agreement, but Kevin just kept looking forward at the road expressionlessly. He hadn’t slept that night. Or any night since the murder. He blamed himself for what had happened;he only thought of how he could have saved her. No prescribed sleep aid could help him; the scene just replayed in his mind, torturing him. So powerless to help her, yet there was so much he could have done.
“Kevin? Earth to Kevin”, Kevin still paid no attention. Benny then muttered under his breath,
“No wonder your daughter died”. Kevin heard and looked over at him menacingly. Benny met his eyes and became frightened.
“No, no, Kevin, I didn’t mean nothin by it, you know. It just slipped out man, I’m sorry, I’m sorry”. Kevin leaned in closer to Benny, who pulled himself in, making himself as small as possible.
“You son of a bit...”, he couldn’t finish his sentence because the radio cut him off.
“Hostile on foot, third street. Suspect is described as being tall and muscular with black hair”. Before Benny could even think about what the report had said, Kevin was already slamming on the accelerator. He turned on the sirens and didn’t stop for anything. First street, second street, third street. He didn’t even break to make the turn, and almost smashed into a store front. Kevin picked up the radio and quickly spoke into it.
“What's the location of the suspect on third?”. The dispatcher responded, “He was last seen entering the construction site for the new parking garage”. He spun the wheel like a top and gunned it towards the site. Skidding to a stop, the police cruiser jolted and Kevin jumped out, with Benny objecting loudly behind him. Kevin bolted through the open gate into the construction site. Pulling out his gun , he walked slowly, making sure to watch his back. Suddenly a black figure sprinted out from behind a cement mixer up the stairs to the second floor of the garage. Kevin followed at full sprint, making it to the second floor only to see the man disappear up to the third and final floor of the garage. Kevin, again, followed up, this time knowing that the suspect would have nowhere to go. He made it to the top floor and saw the figure standing at the edge of the garage looking over the edge at the three story drop below him. Kevin raised his gun and pointed it at the man.
“Put your hands behind your head” The man turned around and did so.
“Get on your knees”. He complied and did so, slowly again. The man's gaze was cast down, but Kevin knew who he was. There was no mistaking the man that was there that night. He aimed his gun at the man’s head. All the anger he had ever felt welled up inside him. Now he had the power, he was no longer helpless to make things right. He slowly walked forward with his gun trained on the man’s skull. Nothing could stop him from executing this coward where he knelt. Then the man looked up into Kevin’s eyes. Green eyes, like his daughter.
The ending of the story was awesome. It was a very good plot twist. I also like how you keep building suspense as Kevin chases the dark figure.
ReplyDeleteThe action in your story is really good, especially the chase thing. Also, I love how you ended the story on a cliffhanger, so the reader isn't certain if Kevin killed the man or not. You depicted powerlessness really well in this story, and I thought it was cool how you showed that even people who had been used to power their entire lives can feel powerless at times.
ReplyDeleteI really loved the chase you had in this story. Even the toned down parts like the casual ride in the police car before the chase had a lot of emotion. The repeated emphasis on the death of the daughter also really helped to drive this story. (Not to mention the cliff hanger was pretty cool). Nice!
ReplyDeleteI like how you were able to make sure and keep the story in a short period of time. The whole story while super predictable, made you want to keep reading till the end every step of the way.
ReplyDelete