The Mistake

The Mistake

Mike laid in the ambulance without color in his face while the rosy cheeked paramedic held his hand trying to give him hope to fight for his life. The time to save his life flew in front of the paramedic faces as if it were rushing towards his death.One of the paramedics kept her gaze with his, trying to keep him conscious.

“Look honey, we will get through this just keep looking at me…” Nervously the rosy cheeked paramedic said. Her shaky words were comfort for him as if she knew him but the only piece of information she knew about the boy fighting for his life was that minutes ago he was the one who tried taking his life away.

Once Mike’s mother went back to drinking after rehab, he had decided to give up just like his father who left him when he was just child. He knew that was the easiest path for him to take because he stopped caring just like the most important people in his life stopped caring for him. His head spun and little by little the ambulance's siren became a simple memory.

He woke up with a brown headed nurse staring at him with a huge smile on her face. Trying to  adjust his eyes to the bright white room’s light he read the brown headed nurses name.

“Annie Annie Annie “

Mike realized where he was and was disappointed that they somehow managed to save him from the ecstasy that failed to end his life.  The clocked marked one thirty four and his head was pounding with pain. Mike attempted rising up from bed but he failed because he was connected to monitors. The monitors strained his hands like they were being clawed to the wall.

He clutched his head because of the vigorous pain that caused him with just a simple movement.

She turned with  a worried face and informed the boy, “Your head is probably still adjusting to the medications that were given to you” She paused taking his pulse and wrote it down on her wooden clipboard.”You know for a sixteen year old boy like you who fought for your life you should be giving thanks to the men up there for letting you still be here.”

One glance was all it took to know that she was not right to be around him.She was a hopeful person which was the last thing he needed or wished to encounter.

Mike did not know what was more painful the way he lived his life or the intense pain through his body. Yet he realized that the pain in his life was nothing compared to any kind of pain because the emptiness inside him killed him even more. It was as if he was receiving thousands of punches in the same spot, harder each time they were thrown.

Everyday the nurse came into his room and did her normal routine.She came closer to him and  he wandered the same question since the day he had come into the white room.

“When am I going home? Who am I kidding I wouldn’t know a home, home sweet home if it hit me in the face” whispering softly ,not wanting the nurse to hear him.

“As soon as a legal guardian comes to take you home,” giggled the nurse because she saw how his cheeks turned a red pigment with embarrassment.

He turned to face her and met her at a sharp gaze and resentfully said “Bullshit, a guardian wouldn’t let you alone in the time when you most need them.”

She stayed quite knowing that fighting against a hurt teenager would be useless but she knew that nothing won’t help him get over the pain he was carrying.

Two days passed and slowly each minute he realized that he was alone in a mad world. Tears slowly ran down from his cheek in sequence reflecting each and every mistake he ever committed in his life.

“How could I have let my life turn into this hopeless situation where I have no one to rely on?”

Since he had overheard the doctor talking with Annie , the nurse who cared for him, he knew that this was the end of him physically. He was emotionally and physically dying each day. As Mike took his last breath he forgave people who did him wrong and asked for forgiveness to those whom he did wrong because he concluded that his whole life was a big mistake. With every strength that was left in his body he reached to the monitor that kept him alive and slowly the constant beep became a long constant sound.