It's For the Greater Good

For the Greater Good

When I was fourteen I told my mother I wanted to join the military. She shook her head from side to side, and laughed softly at my newly pronounced dreams. When I was eighteen I told my mother I wanted to join the military instead of college. This time there was no soft laughter, no eyes of endearment. I was thrown out of the house, and out of her life. When I was twenty-nine I told my mother I was going to be named the first female five-star general. This time there was no mother at all. While most of the nation was watching history be made, my mother was not.

Now I am thirty five.

“Lily, make sure you have our car loaded by the morning. No time to spare, we’ve got a big job tomorrow,” Jeff reminded. I sighed, diverting my gaze toward the stacks of materials still sitting on the dirt. Five years and three promotions later, I was still being ordered around.  

“You’re gonna make a female a five star general? Hell, why don’t you just appoint a cute little butterfly instead? Probably be just as effective. I’ve got nothin’ against women in the military, but they don’t belong in higher up positions. I mean, what if she gets all emotional and blows up a whole compound?”  

“Lily! Did you hear me? Tomorrow has to go well. Some of the guys are starting just now to grow a moral compass, but taking down Suka is worth the collateral”. He shook his head. “I’m not supposed to tell you this, but word on the street is that your rank could be on the line if this doesn’t go well. I’m hard on ya, but I know how many people back home you inspire. My little girl’s practically got a poster of you up on her wall. Don’t mess this up Lily,” Steven whispered, looking me right in the eye. I nodded. “Good. Now those meal packets aren’t gonna pack themselves!” hinted Steven, patting me on the back. “I’ve got to go, but after this go plant the explosives around the perimeter of the village.” With that, he walked away, leaving me with my thoughts. The village was mere minutes from our base, and as i was striding towards the brown structures in my peripheral vision, I felt a tug at my jacket.

There was a small native girl beside me suddenly.

“Hello, Miss,” said the girl, speaking in her native tongue. “Could you help me?”

“What’s your name?”

“Zainab” she announced, voice full of pride.

“Well Zainab, I’m very busy right now and I can’t play, but I’m sure you can find someone from your village to play with,” I replied, trying to manage a comforting smile.

“No miss, I am lost. My village is over there.” She pointed towards the general direction I was walking.

“I can walk you back”.

“When I grow up, I want to be a scientist” quipped Zainab, startling me. This girl just can’t stay silent. “My mother says that science is a “boy’s game”, but that’s never stopped me. Last month, I helped my cousin across the border sneak into a car and drive! My grandmother died from an illness in our village. I want to find something to cure that.”

“That’s really great, don’t let anyone hold you back. If you want to be a scientist, work hard and I’m sure you’ll get there.”

A smile spread across her small moonish face like a rainbow emerging from rain. “Say, how did you get those shiny things on your clothes? The little stars?

“Lily, just go!

“Owen, I’m not leaving you,” I forced out through grimaced teeth.

“Honey, listen to me carefully. You need to go warn them! The unit has no idea the rebels have already arrived, and every minute you’re dragging my dead weight across the ground is a minute they have to get a surprise attack on our guys. All 400 of them.” Owen could barely manage words anymore, his head slumping to the ground as he finished his sentence.

“They’ll be okay. They’re well equipped.”

“There is no amount of equipment that can save you from bombs Lily. You need to go. Now.” Tears now streamed down my face, hitting the dirt floor like bullets. I wiped my face, and shook out my arms. Two more miles.

“Lil, I’m not going to make it. My legs are done with, I’m internally bleeding. Go, run back, warn them, you can come back for me. You were always a fast runner,” Owen joked, already half unconscious.

“You’re gonna make it sweetheart, and so is our unit. I’ll be back for you.” Turns out the rebels did have explosives, lots of them. I had saved 400 men, but it was too late for Owen.

“I made a sacrifice for the greater good.” Suddenly, I realized we could clearly see structures and smoke from a fire.

“Zainab, is that your village? Right over there, past the trees?” I asked carefully, the words themselves coming out as if they were walking on thin ice.

“Yes, yes! Thank you miss. Would you like to come inside?

Suddenly, my communication crackled to life. “Lily, now, now! You need to plant the explosives now, and run back here immediately. We just got intel saying that Suka will be there in thirty minutes!” Steven was yelling as loud as he could. “We’ll see you back here.” The bag over my shoulder of explosives now felt like I was personally dragging a hundred people with dead legs and internal bleeding behind me. I looked at Zainab. “

“You say this is your village?”

“Yes I live in that house right there!” exclaimed Zainab, pointing. I steadied my voice, held back the tears escaping from my eyes, betraying my aloof demeanor, and looked the young girl right in the eye. I thought of my estranged mother, I thought of Steven’s words, I thought about how I could see myself in every ounce of this 65 pound girl’s being.

And then I did what was for the greater good.