A Life Well Lived
By: Hanna Khosravi
Starting as innocent and unknown as ever, we enter the world with fresh flesh and blood,
ending our lives, age taken over, we know that we have seen plenty too much.
do it right.
You touch the bare air, grasping at nothing, panting, tired, a cloud of smoke that withers away before you get there.
it’s not about winning, it’s about the way you go.
you miss the beauty of the fragile world, if you worry too much how it ends.
and all you see is the will to finish.
but the journey itself, the walk of life that you take, the time that you spend, the mistakes that you make,
those are the things that build you a mind, a soul, a life well lived.
Provocative, evocative, broken down, built back up, let it all happen, if it has to.
At the end of a life lived only for destinations, no memories are made, no happiness is collected.

The language in your poem is fantastic. It really made me think what you were conveying, and it created a flurry of images in my head. Awesome job! :)
ReplyDeleteNice poem! I really liked your word choice, it made the poem flow a lot better and gave it a deeper meaning. I also really liked your sentence structure, which was really strong and really completed the poem. You did a great job creating an image of the poem my head, which made it easy to connect with and understand.
ReplyDeleteThe word choice in the poem was awesome! The black and white image really sets the mood too. The spaces and stanzas make sense and allow the poem to flow. Really good job molding the reader's experience with your poem!
ReplyDeleteThe language and phrasing of your poem was phenomenal and amazing and perfect, and it is something that I would definitely want to read in my free time. I would tell you my favorite part, but I love all of it. It depicts the way I sometimes feel, and it helps me realize that I may be missing out on the beauty of the journey. It was very enlightening.
ReplyDeleteGood job! I like the phrasing and the picture a lot.
ReplyDeleteI really liked the way you format this poem! It really shows you the journey of life and how you should try to live it. It connects beautifully to the real life of any person and shows both the enjoyable and discouraging sides of living life.
ReplyDeleteI really love your word choice and how descriptive it is. Each new line brings more meaning to the poem and really illuminates the overall message.
ReplyDelete