Stop thinking about the things you missed,
Even if your life might twist.
Put your thoughts away and stare at the wall,
And wonder why you are giving your all.
Quit trying and and throw in the towel,
Because the result is downright awful.
You can’t control it,
You can’t beat it,
So all you can do is to just sit there and eat it.
And if so, what is there to do?
Nothing.
And that’s the hardest part about life.
I like your rhyme scheme in your poem. It adds to the effect of the poem.
ReplyDelete-Duncan
The straightforward tone that is consistent throughout your poem is effective in conveying what you wanted to express.
ReplyDeleteThis poem demonstrates wonderfully the simple futility behind life, through it's well thought rhyming scheme, and enveloping flow. Good job Jamie.
ReplyDeleteIt is so simple and that is actually the best way to get a point across - great poem and rhyme scheme that will keep me thinking!
ReplyDeleteThis the rhythm in this poem is very good. I really like the flow that it has to it.
ReplyDeleteI love the rhyming scheme and the subtle use of humor. It gets the idea across and makes the reader smile.
ReplyDeleteI really liked your poem. It was really cool to see you make it rhyme, which made it really engaging. Your word choice is solid, and you were able to deliver a strong message. Good job.
ReplyDeleteThe rhyme scheme and ending of your poem really strengthen the overarching message. Nice job!
ReplyDeleteWhat an amazing poem, with a good rhyme scheme and smooth meter. Your message is a bit sad, but you get the point across really well.
ReplyDelete