Float
Teeth clenched and knuckles white
stand fast in the ocean
Each
White
Tipped
Wave
engulfing
You-
Toes curled and spine stone
fight the looming tide
Each
cobalt
hued
mountain
bruising
You-
Symphony of saline cries
muffled by a gritted jaw
Each
cresting
wall
smothering
You-
(Loose limbed and lax however,
seaweed splays like starfish over waves-)
Your poem was so incredibly unique and actually made me feel something. Even though you never said I was at the ocean, I felt like I was there and it triggered senses. Good job
ReplyDeleteThe way you singled in on the different moments of the waves crashing over you really made the poem vivid. It really created a scene for the reader.
ReplyDeleteWow! The way you formatted your poem complimented the ideas you portrayed so perfectly. Your word choice created a mental picture in my mind of the beach, reminding me of tranquility. Really nice job!
ReplyDeleteI really love the way your stanzas seemed to cascade down to one another like waves. It was very very original. The imagery used to represent the ocean was very clear and easy to imagine.
ReplyDelete